doing the dang thing

or what did and didn’t work in 2024. and my first post since january.

*tap tap* Is this thing on?

I can say without a shred of doubt that I fully intended to write and publish something in 2024 and, well, that clearly didn’t happen. It’s been a whirlwind of a year, friends, and I feel like I spent most of it simply trying to keep my head above water. Turns out, I actually spent a lot of time doing creative things, just creative things other than personal essay writing.

As often happens this time of year in basically every corner of the internet, the end of year reflection type posts are all over the place—in particular the list of what did and didn’t work in 2024, which, of course, has got me thinking about my own list.

My perfectionist tendency says I should write something else before this list, partially because I haven’t published anything for pretty much the entirety of this year, but especially because the last thing (and only thing I published so far in 2024) was my list of what did and didn’t work in 2023.

But here’s the truth: it’s the feeling that I “should” write something else first that has largely been responsible for me publishing basically nothing this year. (Also, the aforementioned just-trying-to-keep-my-head-above-water nature of the past 12 months.) So, instead of continuing to wait until I have a piece of writing that’s “good enough” to be my first post in months, I’m gonna do the dang thing. And maybe, just maybe, doing the dang thing will result in more writing in 2025.

The Tridge — a meeting of three bridges in my mom’s hometown.

What Worked in 2024

Date night swaps. This was on my list last year and for good reason. Every other week, we drop off our kids with my brother and sister-in-law and go out on an actual date, and the other weeks, they do the same. It’s continued to be so life giving to go out on a real date, especially since we also started doing dessert for the nights we watch my nieces and focused our date night dollars on the date nights out. 10/10, would still recommend if you have someone to swap with.

Bullet journaling. Since I became a mom, I’ve been on the hunt to find a planner/calendar/organizational system that helped me keep track of everything going on without making me feel like I was wasting pages when entire days went by where I did nothing but sit on the floor and toss a ball back and forth for hours on end or read the same book for the umpteenth time. A few years back, I tried what I shall refer to as Pinterest Bullet Journaling (you know what I mean) and, simply put, it did not work for me. After buying yet another planner that I abandoned after a few months, I decided to try bullet journaling again… but this time, I kept it simple, the way it was actually intended to be. And it’s worked. I’m more or less staying on top of things again, and it’s no big deal if I go days without writing or tracking a single thing—just what I need in this season of life/motherhood.

Weekly personal time. Sometime in the early part of this year, my husband basically forced me out of the house on a random Tuesday afternoon. Our daughter, who never took a bottle particularly well, was a few months old, I was nursing her every 2 1/2 hours, and my husband could tell I needed a break. So he started sending me out of the house every Tuesday afternoon for a few hours so I could do… whatever the heck I wanted. And it’s been so good for me, especially in a year as crazy as this one was.

Stretching my harp muscles. Most people don’t know this (even in my everyday life), but I started playing the harp when I was in high school. Our worship pastor learned this a few years back, and I’ve been playing harp for our church’s Christmas concerts almost every year since. But this year was different. The music was more complicated and there was more of it. Plus, there was one song entirely driven by the harp. And then I got asked to play for Christmas Eve too. It was stressful at moments, I’ll admit. But looking back on the year, I loved stretching those harp muscles in a new way, and I’m looking forward to continuing in 2025.

Buying high-waisted jeans. The first time my husband kicked me out of the house was to go buy jeans that actually fit my postpartum body. They ended up being high-waisted, and I’m never going back to mid-rise again.

Selling our condo + buying our townhouse. This was a big surprise for us and definitely not on the plan for the year. It’s also a big reason why this year was such a whirlwind. But after a conversation with our real estate agent in January, we decided it was wise to sell this year. So in the spring, we finished up some projects, put it on the market in May, and by the end of June, we had officially sold. We had a rent back until the end of July, spent a month with family, and moved into our new place Labor Day weekend. It made for a crazy year, but my husband and I both agreed we’re so glad we trusted our agent—his advice to sell, his expertise when selling, and his push to buy the house we did—and made the move this year.

Exhale. I may not have written much this year, but I did do a lot of other creative things, and that is largely because of the incredible community at Exhale. I committed to more regularly sharing the creative work I was doing with the group, even if it wasn’t public writing, and even went to a local in-person meet up. In a year that didn’t feel particularly creative because I wasn’t doing basically any of my primary creative outlet, the Exhale community reminded me that creativity is in all of life and all of it matters. It’s one of my favorite places on the internet, and if you’re a creative mother who needs a little encouragement and community in your life, Exhale is the place for you. Enrollment opens in January!

Travel. Somewhat unexpectedly, we made three out-of-state trips this year to visit friends and family, and it was such a joy. We visited dear friends in Ohio, some of my husband’s family in Huntsville, AL, and some of my family in Michigan. Our kids got some states knocked off their list, and we made some wonderful memories.

Daily journaling. I’ve been journaling for over 25 years—since 1999—but in 2015, I made a change. I decided to try journaling every day for a year. And in 2016, I tried to do it for another year. And when I pen words tonight, about this final day of 2024, I will have officially journaled every single day for a decade. 🤯 Public writing may not have happened this year, but private writing certainly did.

A snapshot of the gorgeous botanical gardens in Huntsville, AL.

What Didn’t Work in 2024

Overcommitting. I’ve already said it… this was a super full year. That was in part because of things like having a one-month-old at the start of the year, selling and buying a home, and then moving with two small children, but it was also because I said yes to too much. I didn’t fully appreciate the constraints on my time and how much I would need to say no to give myself the time and space this season of life required… so I didn’t, and the latter third of this year was pretty rough as a result.

My wardrobe/relationship with my clothing. Truth be told, this has been a struggle for a few years now. I don’t know if it was the pandemic, motherhood, some combination of both, or something else entirely, but I’ve really struggled to get dressed in a way that makes me feel good and is also practical for my season of life with small children. I bought high-waisted jeans, which I love, but still defaulted to leggings most days. I panic bought (and subsequently returned) more things on Amazon than I care to admit. I’m not sure what the solution is, but I’m hoping to find it in 2025.

Fiction reading. It pains me to say I only read 26 books this year. I know that number is a lot for some people, but for me, it’s about half of what I aim for each year. What pains me even more is only nine of those were fiction. I usually have a 2 or 3 to 1 ratio of fiction to nonfiction, but I could not find a good groove with it this year, and it makes me sad. I’ve been in what feels like a perpetual reading slump for going on seven years now, and I’m really hoping 2025 changes that. (Related, if you’ve got great fiction recs… hit me up.)

Regular conversation with non-local friends. While I’ve made progress in the friendship department in 2024, the truth is all but one of my closest friends still aren’t local to me. I thought text messages and Marco Polos could be enough to know what’s actually going on in their lives, and more than once this year found out that is not the case. This one is a top priority to figure out in 2025, because knowing what’s happening in my closest friend’s lives, regardless of geographical proximity, will always be important to me.

Personal essay writing. This needs no explanation. I think I started a handful of essays in my notebook throughout the year, but clearly none of them got to the “publish ready” point.

Stressing about selling/buying a house. On the other side of it, I can confidently say selling our condo and buying our house was a great idea. In the moment, I wasn’t so sure. In hindsight, I don’t know why I stressed so much. The Lord had always been faithful to provide what we needed before, there was no reason to doubt He would do it again.

Keeping up with online content. Emails, newsletters, Substack, you name it. A lot of my rhythms got out of whack at the beginning of the year thanks to a newborn, and this is one that never fully recovered. I will likely be doing some serious consideration of the content that comes into my various inboxes and how I prioritize and schedule time to consume what I choose to let stay.

There you have it, friends. A list of (some of) the things that worked and didn’t work for me in 2024. Now it’s your turn… what’s on your did/didn’t work list?

If you’re still here, even after a mostly silent year, thank you. I’m grateful. I hope you’ll stick around as I figure out how to show up here more in 2025.

And one final note: if you don’t normally do this practice, or had a hard year and feel like it will only be discouraging or frustrating, I encourage you to try it. When I was initially thinking of things last night that might go on this list, all I could come up with was what didn’t work, but when I sat down to write it out… there was a whole lot more that worked than I thought. Give it a shot. This year might have held a lot more good in it than you realize.