hello there, september.
it's been a little while.
my son started crawling this week. well, sort of.
he rocks on his hands and knees, but hasn’t figured out how to crawl on them yet. instead, his forward motion either looks like a disjointed version of the worm, or he’s got his butt in the air, his face pressed into the floor, and frustrated grunts escaping his little mouth as he tries desperately to move.
it’s awkward, hilarious, and utterly adorable to watch.
coming back to writing, to this space, feels a little bit like that—awkward, disjointed, and a far cry from what it used to feel or look like.
when i sent out my last newsletter a year ago (😱), i had every intention of sending out another one on october 1st, and then on november 1st, and then… well, you get the idea.
while i could probably come up with a lot of reasons for why it’s been so dang long since i’ve written anything here, the plain and simple truth is i’ve been in a rut. and not just creatively. i’ve only recently keyed in on the reality that i haven’t truly felt like myself since, oh, march of 2020.
as the cool kids are calling it, i’ve been languishing—personally, creatively, emotionally, you name it.
in recent weeks, i’ve started to see sparks of my old self coming back—random ideas for pieces, a clever or lovely turn of phrase, staying up late to keep reading a really good book, planning and dreaming and more.
it feels good, but when it comes to my writing life, i’m still feeling a bit unmoored.
i think about things to write or share and i question and criticize before a word ever lands on the page. the ideas are mostly practical—like how i manage our family’s schedule or how to organize your space—and i wonder… is this all i have left to offer? are my encouraging, thought-provoking, challenging, creative words all dried up? do people even care about my thoughts on these things, when there are so many other resources out there?
i’ve done many things with my writing over the years—focused on faith, relationships, community, simple living, organization, productivity—and that wide variety of topics leaves me a bit unsure of how to move forward.
if you subscribed for a specific purpose and are expecting me to write or share about a particular thing, i can’t promise that’s what you’ll find here.
there’s a good chance i’ll talk about any and all of those things at some point, because they’re all things that bring me joy and make me who i am, but i won’t talk about any of them exclusively and i don’t know how often each topic may or may not come up.
in full transparency, i’m also still sorting out where and how i show up online broadly—what place does social media, a blog, a newsletter, contributions to other sites and more have in my life?
there’s still a lot i’m unsure of, a lot i’m figuring out. i’m stepping into a new season of life and i know very little about what it will hold.
but what i know is this: i am a writer and i want to share my words with the world.
i’ve been feeling encouraged creatively through a variety of sources over the last few weeks—a summer breakout seminar at my church, slant letter, the coffee + crumbs podcast…just to name a few—and it’s stirring in me the desire to write again, to create, to bring beauty into this world with the gift i’ve been given (and not just by sharing practical how to advice).
showing up here, like this, unpolished, messy, and unsure, feels strange. everything in my planner, type a self goes against it. but i know this… if i wait until i’m sure to start again, it’ll be a whole lot longer than a year before i share my words with the world.
so, here i am, friend. i pray you get even the smallest bit of encouragement from what i’ve shared today. if, perhaps, you too, have felt like you’re languishing in some aspect of your life, consider this your permission slip to start again, to start small, to start unsure.
and also, if there’s something you’d like to see from me, would you let me know? it’s always helpful to hear what would be encouraging or helpful to you, as i consider my next steps in this creative journey of mine.
💕 lovely things to share
this volume of slant letter. stephanie’s words never fail to encourage me as a writer, but considering my current state of mind, this one was exactly what i needed to read.
this lovely dual timeline WW2 novel. it was a wonderful read, the kind that kept me up far later than i probably should have.
after an existential crisis during which i thought i didn’t need a planner anymore, i started using this one this week and i’m totally in love.
i recently started listening to the coffee + crumb podcast and i’m a bit obsessed. particularly loved this episode and this episode.
this piece by tsh oxenreider. i took the first 6+ months of the year off social media and i’m thinking i just may need to extend that to the whole internet at some point in the future.
thank you for being here, friend. here’s to new seasons, and Lord willing, ones of flourishing instead of languishing.
p.s. there’ll be another newsletter on october 1… hopefully with a bit more direction than this one. promise. 😉
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